06.17.2000

Looking for me

Jason and I did something "different" this evening. Rather than gravitating to the Castro for a meal, which is our habit, we went to the oh-so-hip Fillmore area. Had a horrible meal at Mozzarella di Bufala, which was unfortunate. I thought I remembered it as a better restaurant. We also poked our heads into the new B Spot, which took over the Alta Plaza space. (It's pretty much the same, just a different name and a bit straighter.)

Afterward, we drove to Lands End and walked about. I'd never been, and it was beautiful to see the Bridge from that point of view. We also realized that Lands End is where the child pornographer plunges to his death in Further Tales of the City (I think). It may be More Tales of the City. I'd look it up and double check, but today I packed all my books. That Maupin moment inspired us to do something we'd been talking about for awhile.

"Armistead Maupin's writing shaped so much of my vision of San Francisco."

We drove around Russian Hill and found Macondary Lane, which is the inspiration for the fictional Barbary Lane of Tales of the City fame. The wooden stairs are still there, although we couldn't figure out which house was meant to be Mrs. Madrigal's building. My guess is that it isn't there anymore, as there are some newer homes at 24 Macondary Lane. At 999 Green is The Summit, the evil condominium highrise, derided in the last book Sure of You.

Armistead Maupin's writing shaped so much of my vision of San Francisco. To a great extent, the City of the Tales... books is what I looked for on my first visit to San Francisco. As we drove around San Francisco for the first time, I laughed at all the names I recognized. Street names, neighborhoods, landmarks. Maupin had introduced me to an entire place, simply with words.

The books also shaped a lot of my initial identity as a gay man. When I first started coming to terms with my homosexuality, I did what I frequently do: I read. I was still in high school at the time, and I scoured the local library for references to homosexuality. No mean feat in a small town library! I poured over the periodicals, pulled book after book off the shelves. I found Maupin one afternoon, in a short interview in Newsweek. I knew nothing of his work, but the brief glimpse of his humor led me to order Tales of the City through interlibrary loan. I read it all in an afternoon, and immediately bought the rest. I've read them countless times since.

It's ironic that we decided to visit the real life places from Tales of the City just as we are preparing to move away. It's a nice bit of closure to the very brief San Francisco chapter of my life. There are many things I love about this place. And, unfortunately, many more things that I've grown to dislike. I'm very glad that soon I'll be able to enjoy the City again with the unique qualities only experienced by visitors. I can be exhilarated again by the sight of the Bridge, the rush of people, the energy of the Castro.

When I return to San Francisco as a visitor, I can once again see the city I discovered by chance in six books, at a moment in my life when I was only looking for me.